All of the poems on this page were written sometime between December of 1999 and approximately March of 2000.
This was an extremely hard time for me, the only time I really wanted to die.
The warning I gave on the about page specifically applies to this page.

boys and girls don't fall in love
for love will cause you harm
don't let the sweet ones in
for they will do only wrong
those that smile and laugh all day
are ripping you apart with their lies
the friendly faces that say nice things
should make you turn and run
love will be a marvelous thing
then pound you to the ground
they say i love you
they say i care
but they really mean they love themselves
and they care for you today
tomorrow comes and brings new faces
new tears for those that are no longer there
hold close to your heart
the simple and the true
if you want to find real love
simply look into a mirror
for this face is all you'll have
when all is gone and none are left
then all you have is you
boys and girls don't fall in love
this is what it will do

i hate it when you laugh
i hate it when you smile
i love to see you hurt
i love to see your tears
i wish i could make you bleed
just for all eternity
maybe then you'd know
exactly what you meant to me

the end
take away my emotions
i don't need this anger
i don't need this pain
hollow in the heart
empty in the mind
i'll be mechanical
i'll be your toy
that never changes
now does it?
throw away my key
replace it with chips
you've made me black inside
how can i go on?
you always leave me this way
and i always come back for more
i feed off of your abuse
will you fucking dig my heart out of this shell???????????????
i'm so tired of hurting
bring back my happiness

fuck you
i hate you
why can't you leave me alone?
we're lost now
we're broken
you left me here
alone and dead
leave me the fuck alone!
i shatter
i cry out
i hear you
you're laughing
i'm crying
tears flood down to the floor
i'm twisted
and empty
i'm broken to the bone
i love you
i need you
i hate you
just kill me
leave me the fuck alone!

you name me once
you name me twice
i'm left alone with
what you've made me,
my sweet sweet obsolete

ode to a toad named slime
there was a toad who lived in a shell
there was a toad who lived in a well
there was a toad beneath the shroom
there was a toad inside the gloom
there was a toad...
until my shoe went SPLAT

Tear me from the inside out
rip apart my everything
steal from me my ever being
lie to me
cry to me
die and bleed
never breathe

slashedsmashedscatteredwasted
giventomeeverything
giventomelove
giventomeyourheart
giventomeheartbreak
whatdoesitmatter
flawsagainstperfection
nowonderyouleftme

give me back my heartache
give me back my sorrow
give you everything never ever take
give you back our tomorrow

i love you not
i need you not
i want you not
your promises not
our dream not
goodbye my sweetness

forgive me for wanting to die
forgive me for everything i do
forgive me now and i'll be pleased
just promise me that
you'll forgive me for wanting only you
please forgive me for missing you
will you forgive me for loving you?

i will never be what you want me to be
i will never be what you need me to be
i will always love you as i need you
you will leave me alone and dry
no more emotions for the future
all trust left me when you said goodbye

tear the petals off the rose
you toss them one by one
away they go and you never look back

you will never be my valentine
you will never be my sweet surrender
send them all to the blazes
escape the fires of the races
you will never be mine

death at 19
when you think of pure moments
will you think of me?
when you think of past loves
will you think of me?
remember the few moments,
together we shared
forget all the arguements,
you were never here
when you think of stonehenge,
will you think of me?
when you think of weddings,
will you think of me?
when you think of children,
will you think of me?
think of the future
that will never be
i cry and i try
but it never makes sense
we were meant to be
yet you never loved me
my only everything,
only you complete me
but what does it matter?
do you ever miss me?

song of the unloved
You are my completion
Everything I've ever needed
Everything I've ever wanted
You are all I've ever dreampt of
My everlasting search for the missing pieces
I found the holder of the key to my heart
My happiness only you could find within me
Brought forth all the good i never knew i had
Everything i ever wanted
Everything I ever needed to be
You are all I ever am,
You are all I ever will be
Get down on bended knee
Then walk away and throw away the key
You are everything I need, my completion
You are everything I want, my completion
You are everything I love, my completion
And you.... don't.... love me

Written March 1, 2000

This site was created November 1, 2001

Special thanks to Mike Stewart for the avatar graphics.
Background and layout by Melanie Snyder.

All graphics within this site, unless otherwise noted, are by Entaeyen (Melanie Snyder) 2000-Present.

Unless otherwise noted, graphics on this site are NOT public domain.
I ask that you please leave them here.